


Closure

by selfishloser



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Binge Drinking, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Indulgent, Slight Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:28:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29153565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selfishloser/pseuds/selfishloser
Summary: acceptance - a letting go of what once was.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader, Sugawara Koushi/Reader
Kudos: 3





	Closure

_Was that the fifteenth bottle tonight? Can't even keep count of them anymore._

_  
_ You stare at the empty glass bottles - some sitting by your side, the rest surrounding your figure on the floor. Your eyes drifted to the clock on the wall.

  
_It's almost half past midnight, and he's still not back? Oh well, it's no longer my business anyways, plus I'm ninety percent sure he's not going to come home tonight - been like that for three months now._

_  
_ You let out a sigh, chugging the strong, bitter yet sweet liquid from the bottle in your hand.

  
_Ah, it feels amazing, gulping down every last drop of alcohol. Truly, it is a great remedy for the pain I bear in my heart and on my skin._

_  
_ You attempt to stand, using every ounce of the energy that's left in your body to push yourself up on your feet.  
  


_Have I gained weight? Well, it wouldn't be a surprise if I did, neither would getting liver cancer be one too. I should clean up the mess before I pass out._

_  
_And so, you did - dropping onto your bed as you drift into slumber.

  
  


▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

  
  
  


"How's Oikawa?"   
  


_Hell if I know, I barely see the man anymore these days.  
_

Shrugging in response, you took another shot as the silver-haired man huffed in defeat. "How long are you going to keep this up?"  
  


_I don't know, Koushi. You know this as well - you know how much I love him to let go of him, and I fucking hate myself for feeling this way._

"I hate seeing you like this - you look like a mess, sugar."  
  


_There he goes again. He wants to help ease the pain I feel every second of my life - but why am I hesitant to accept his assistance?  
_

He lifts his hand up to your cheek, caressing your skin so very delicately with his fingertips. "You know he doesn't care about you. Soon he's going to come back - make up some dumbass apology and go back to square one."  
  


_You're right, you always were. You've always been a very smart man, Koushi. But I can't give up on Tooru. I can't give up on him. I just can't.  
_

"Please. You're slowly killing me with the way you are neglecting yourself. I don't think I can look at you and pretend that everything's going to be alright when Oikawa comes back around."  
  


_It's funny how you never fail to notice even the smallest detail - whereas the man I live with never did, never once did he notice my scars, my bruises, the bloodstains, **me**._

"Ah, I can already see the answer in your eyes. If that's truly what you want, then who am I to stand in your way? Well then, I won't meet up with you anymore after tonight."  
  


_Koushi, always respectful of my decisions - wait, what? He doesn't want to see me anymore after tonight? What the fuck? Does he want to cut ties with me? Is he fed up with me?  
_

He moves his hand away from your cheek, his beautiful brown eyes staring at you. Your heart sank to the bottom of your stomach as you stared back into his eyes - your knees growing weak as every second passes by.  
  


_Why are you making that sort of expression? Why do you have the exact same expression as Tooru does when he begs for my forgiveness?  
_

"Sugar, you have to understand that I can't keep this up anymore. I'm sure you know what I'm feeling better than anyone else in the world." Your heart was racing as if you had just finished running a marathon.  
  
  
_This isn't fair. You're the only one who stayed by my side after all these years - so why are you choosing to leave me now?  
_

"If there's nothing else, I'll send you back to your apartment. You look like you haven't slept for weeks." You wanted to scream at him, ask him why he is abandoning you - but you bit your lip and stayed quiet, silently following after him as he booked a cab.

  
_This isn't fair, this isn't fair, this isn't fair, this isn't fair, this isn't fair, this isn't fair, this isn't fair-_

The trip back to your apartment was quick - Sugawara was holding your waist as he helped support your half-drunken state up the stairs. 

  
_I don't want him to go. What if he's just kidding? He has to be, Koushi would never abandon me - I'm just overthinking again._

"Come on, I'll put you to bed - as usual. I'm sure he won't be home at this-" He was cut off as the door to your apartment swung open, revealing a somewhat pissed-off Oikawa standing in front of you and Sugawara.

  
_Oh, speak of the devil._

You felt Sugawara's grip tighten around your side, almost as if he was trying to protect you from the man in front of you both. You felt your already redden cheeks flush. 

"It's been a while, Mr. Refreshing."

**Author's Note:**

> This work is purely self-indulgent, so please do not expect much from my horrendous writing.


End file.
